The Train Ride Home
by Ari-Skye
Summary: Xemnas has always ridden the train home, just not with a vengeful engineer at the wheel. Suddenly the Monday evening commute becomes interesting. One-shot. Happy XemSai day!


Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts

Rated T for language

Xemnas enjoyed Twilight Town. After five months of living there the extraordinarily long (and stunning) sunsets and refreshing sea breezes finally grew on him much like a barnacle grows on a whale. But even then he always held a special place in his heart for Midgar and couldn't give up his job as a doctor at the university hospital to transfer to the slower paced Twilight Town Medical Clinic. He needed the fast paced mayhem of the E.R. almost as much as he needed the nearly lethargic tranquility of Twilight Town. His living and working arrangements now struck a perfect balance between the two; allowing him to unwind after work instead of being swept up by the hubbub of the city. Even the train ride back and forth was enjoyable. The sight of skyscrapers melding into fields of suburban houses was pleasing to his eyes and lulled the stress right out of his body.

It was a rainy day when his admittedly comfortable routine changed. He was halfway through his hour commute, listening to Natalie Imbruglia's velvety voice via earphones, when the comforting albeit static ridden voice rang through the intercom: "Hello travelers". The voice was silky smooth and creamy as hand turned ice cream. It was soothing, irresistible even. "Next stop is Destiny Island, remember to…You know what, fuck this shit. You all know what stop comes next. It says it on the electronic board in your fucking train cars. And you know what; you all know how to get off a bloody train. If you don't then your intelligence is questionable and I don't know how you got on in the first place. God…Kingdom Hearts…I've had enough of this crap."

Xemnas immediately brought himself into a sitting position; leaving behind his lounging slouching posture. Did the train conductor just curse? He looked at the ceiling half expecting answers to fall from the aluminum above him. No such luck. He removed his earphones; convinced his mind was just playing tricks on him. Too much overtime at work, not enough sleep.

"Seriously. How many of you are actually going to pay attention to this? No one cares. No one fucking _cares_. I think I could die a violent, **loud**, bloody death for all of you to hear and no one would care, no one would even bloody listen."

Xemnas felt his sunset-orange eyes widen. Was he the only one hearing this? The doctor looked around at his fellow passengers. None of them showed an ounce of shock or confusion. They were absorbed in smart phone, conversation, paper bags of fast food, the ever passing scenery, anything and everything but the conductor's voice. For a moment Xemnas felt as if he were in a twisted episode of the Twilight Zone, where the voice of a 'train conductor' spoke straight into his head; and it would turn out that it was only a rich man messing with him for fun of it using some strange alien technology. The doctor vaguely wondered if he was losing his sanity and then the voice spoke again: "I think if a mad man came in here, pulled my finger nails off one by one as I screamed bloody murder not one of you would hear it and even if you did you wouldn't lift a finger to help me, until the train stopped running and you had to or risk not being able to get home you lousy little shits".

Xemnas was a radiologist. He took X-rays for a living; but even with his limited knowledge of the mind he could tell the man driving the train was having a mental break down. "_Perhaps I should call 911, he doesn't sound all that stable Xemnas vaguely thought. Maybe he's just upset, people do stupid things when there upset."_ Xemnas' thoughts were interrupted by the intercom.

"Let's not beat around the bullshit. You all hate your jobs. They're demeaning and vile and probably don't pay that good. It's pointless for all of us to go around wearing fake smiles, grinning like idiots when we all know we're dying inside. Were all a bunch of sadists and masochists. Getting sick joy from bringing other people down and doing the same things every day that bring us pain. Sick, sick creatures." The train man's voice seemed to have picked up steam, as if the words gave him purpose.

"And there is no cure wither. Because that's what it means to be human right? To live a painful existence and then drop dead like a fly someday. By the way this stop is Destiny Island; get the fuck out you Island freaks." This time around Xemnas noticed a few of the passengers leaving glance up at the ceiling with distain and confusion as they left. The doors closed once more and the train hummed loudly as it took off once more. The doctor knew his stop was next as Twilight Town blinked red through the illuminated dots of the bulletin board. But he had half a mind to stay on, hear the rest of the man's rant. But no; he had spent nearly 15 hours working non-stop with minimal breaks. Sleep was what he needed, not gossip fodder.

"Like flies…all of us…like toy things for the Gods. The departed must laugh at us everyday from their place in Kingdom Hearts. We must be comic relief for them. Too bad I'll never know if that's true though. Leather and bondage fetishes are apparently looked down upon in the Temple of Kingdom Hearts. Who would have known?"

Xemnas choked on his own spit. This man clearly had issues that needed medical attention. Bondage? Xemnas could understand leather, but bondage? And how would _fetishes_ even come up in conversation with a _priest_?

"But then again according to those sorry shits hardly anyone is 'worthy enough to join the light of Kingdom Hearts'. Isn't that a load." The voice seemed to lose energy almost as fast as it gained it. He seemed tired now. Defeated.

"This stop is Twilight Town. Get the fuck out."

And Xemnas did.

He left the train feeling odd and tired. He stumbled his way home, laughing slightly as he recalled the words of the conductor. _"Gods"_ He thought. _"Some people have issues"_.

The rest of the week passed without event. He went to work, he went home. Mundane but welcoming. All was fine until Monday came around and Xemnas sought out a quieter section of the train. After a good half hour dealing with some man who wouldn't stay still long enough for him to take an x-ray all he wanted was some peace and quiet. He found a comfortably empty car and sat down near the window, anticipating a view that would take his mind of his evolving headache. He was about to put his ear phones in when a satin voice pervaded his ears and stopped him.

"Hello Clusterfucks. This is Midgar, just incase you haven't smelled it by now. Place is a cesspool, I swear. If you don't know the next stop you're probably on the wrong train or illiterate. Both require you to step of this sorry excuse for a train while you still can and find help".

Xemnas smiled to himself. _**This**_ was a welcome surprise. The doctor figured the conductor would be fired by now. Someone must have said something to someone about this man's rant last Monday, but apparently not. Xemnas needed something uplifting right now, and why not the pain of others. It was the conductor himself after all who said everyone was a sadist. Perhaps there was some truth to that statement.

"Seriously, Timber has better trains than we do, and the last time I checked they were infamous for patching together sheets of metal with piss and gum and calling it a train".

Xemnas chuckled.

"Perhaps we could have better trains and train service if the department cared a little more. I mean if I can drive a train so can a brain dead raccoon. This is Destiny Island. Get the fuck out".

No one in Xemnas' car left, making it eerily silent.

"You know I never wanted to become a train conductor. Trains have never been my thing. I've always wanted to become a musician. A pianist. I have the hands for it. Just never had the opportunity. Goddamn piano barely fits in my apartment. Only thing that calms me down". The poor man was beginning to sound drained. Ad if talking to no one in particular had taken all his energy.

"This is Twilight Town. Just…Just get out."

And Xemnas did.

Every Monday was the same way. Xemnas found a quiet car to sit in as he listened to the rambling of the angry man driving him home. He heard him complain about "the rotting cheese on the train cars that the custodians were certain has been hanging around somewhere but they can't find it because it doesn't fucking exist and they need to just admit the goddamn train cars smell like cheese of their own volition" and how "Axe is not shower in a can and teenage boys need to be taught proper hygiene' before he "pukes up the sunflower seed he ate for breakfast' because he's "too fucking broke" for real food.

It was on the third Monday after a particularly vengeful rant about the rat problem in Midgar that the intercom went dead for a whole two minutes, a record Xemnas noted. When it came back on the voice that came through was tired. "I got fired last Monday…this is my last ride."

For some reason that seemed to hit Xemnas hard. He tried to convince himself he wasn't attached to the man behind the spiteful words and silky voice. That it was exhaustion and stress that tugged at his heart.

"And the truth is I have nothing to live for anyway. No family, friends left me when I broke up with my boyfriend, I have nothing going for me. I might just end it all…" And with that the line went dead. No one told him to 'get the fuck out' when his stop came around and he felt nearly empty because of it. He was half way down the street when he realized the gravity of the conductor's confession. _"I might just end it all…"_ The sunset-eyed man stopped walking for a moment, looking at his gray Reebok sneakers in contemplation. Were those words a threat to commit suicide? A cry for help? Was the mysterious man just being overdramatic, as tended to be? Shaking the thoughts from his head Xemnas sent his long silver locks of hair swaying from side to side. "_No. It couldn't have been a confession to commit suicide."_ But what is it was? Xemnas felt his duty as a doctor made him responsible. _"I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm."_ The doctor swore to those words with pride and honor.

_"But what if he really is just being overdramatic?"_ Xemnas shook his head once more, silver hair straying into his eyes. It was better to be safe than sorry, right? Making a stop at home for a change of clothes and a few other things he thought might be useful, he pulled on his favorite leather jacket (chuckled at the fact it was leather) swung his messenger bag over his shoulder and marched out the door before he could lose his nerve.

It took one very long bus ride and some walking but Xemnas found himself at the Offices of Gaia Public Transit. After looking around, the silver haired man wasn't entirely too sure what he was doing there. He didn't know how to go about looking for a man whose name or face he didn't know, or how he would even bring up an uncomfortable topic such as suicide to a complete stranger. The doctor cursed at himself. It was foolish to come here. It was an impulsive and reckless thing to do and very unbecoming of him. He was a **_doctor_**. An upstanding responsible citizen. Not some senseless child. Ah well. Xemnas turned to leave, pushing whatever impulses his conscience screamed to the side so he could go home in peace and sleep for once. He walked back down the grungy sidewalk studying the intricate stitching of his shoes and ignoring the horrid smell of fish and oil that seemed to radiate from this part of town.

When he felt his head collide with something hard and fleshy he jumped backward and was shocked to be caught by strong hands.

"I'm sorry. Are you okay?" The voice was weary.

"Yes, I'm fine." Xemnas looked up to see stoic yellow eyes look back at him. He felt his spine tingle and shrugged to get the sensation out of him.

A pale hand shifted around a cardboard box Xemnas failed to notice. The yellow-eyed man was as tall as Xemnas himself, and seemed to bob impatiently waiting for the doctor to move out of his way.

"Do you need help with that?" The sunset eyed man glanced inside the box to find some loose papers, a Gaia Public Transit uniform, and a name tag that looked as if someone had taken their car keys through the scratched metal blue lettering.

_'This is my man. This is the man I'm looking for'_ In an inner voice that was barely his own gripped his mind with such force it drowned any other thoughts from the doctor's mind.

"Here". Xemnas gripped the box and nearly took it out of the bewildered man's hands.

"I'm fine really."

"Nonsense. Let me help you." He took the whole weight of the box of his arms. "You have a car?"

"Yeah." Wary eyes watched the doctor as the train driver lead the way to a bright sunshine yellow Beetle. Xemnas winced.

"That's your car?"

The man glanced at him, then nodded. "Yes."

Xemnas could have swore he heard a drop of shame in his voice.

"Do you fit?" Xemnas knew he himself was an intimidating 6'2, and the man beside him was barely an inch shorter them him. Why such a tall man would own such a small car was beyond him.

"I fit enough." The train driver took the box from Xemnas and jammed it into the trunk of the car.

"Hey, would you mind coming with me to get coffee? I was waiting here for a date, but they never showed up. I could really use the company." Xemnas grit his teeth behind closed lips. It was a white lie. A stupid white lie that the sunset-eyed man wasn't even sure would work. He closed his eyes feeling the residue of embarrassment flush on his cheeks.

A loud sigh echoed through out the parking lot. "Sure, get in."

Hiding a face of relief and victory he climbed into the passenger's side of the car, the odd sensation of being in a strangers car shivering through him. The doctor tried his best to sink into the seat to allow him head room to sit straight. He couldn't find a place to put his legs and ended up slouching over himself to accommodate his height. He saw the man next to him do the same, the golden-eyed man's body leaned over his waist with a pained grimace on his lips.

"So what's your name?" The train driver's voice was even smoother in person, although he did sound annoyed.

"Xemnas"

"Saix"

"Nice to meet you Saix."

Silence.

"Do you wanna go to Hollow Bastion Café? I hear they have good coffee, and tea, if you're into that."

"Sure."

Xemnas could feel the awkward air between himself and his grudging companion. It was oppressive and constricting.

They rolled up to Hollow Bastion Café and Xemnas exit the car with the grace of a fallen turtle. Once inside the pair strode up to the counter and both ordered tea, Xemnas insisted he paid for Saix drink when the blue-haired man all but demanded he pay for himself. Saix eventually caved much to the cashiers relief and they made there way to a corner of the café surrounded my booth partitions and potted plants. Secluded and calm, the perfect place to have an awkward conversation.

"So what do you do for a living?" Xemnas felt guilt rise like bile in his throat. It was clear the man sitting across from him hnd just been fired. It was a cruel question to ask.

"I use to work for Gaia Public Transport. Just got fired."

"Oh. That's unfortunate. I'm sorry to hear that. I know this is none of my business, feel free not to answer, but why did they fire you?" Xemnas kicked himself for having as much tact as a squirrel infected by rabies.

"Improper use of train equipment." The voice that spoke was soul crushingly broken and monotone to the point of being borderline robotic. The doctor looked up to make eye contact with his companion but found that the man's golden eyes were staring off into nothing and gave the sense the blue-haired man wasn't mentally in the present. It was frightening to see this man so calm. Xemnas expected to meet someone more…excitable.

"Oh. Are you going to go out with your co-workers later for one lash hurrah? Drink yourselves silly with friends and all that work place nonsense?"

"Nonsense indeed. I have no friends."

They both realized how awkward and reveling that statement was at the same time. Their eyes met and held each other's gaze. Xemnas could feel the pain radiating from brilliant golden eyes and visibly flinched.

"You're not okay." The doctor felt the worlds spill from his mouth before he could stop them.

"I'm fine-"

"You're not. How many times have you said that and to how many different people; I bet they bought it too."

"That's none of your business. Who are you anyway? Who asks a stranger out for tea in the first place. I'm the one who should be asking the questions." The words were meant to sound angry but came out in the same crushing robotic monotone drawl. It was unsettling.

"I rode your train. The one that went from Midgar to Twilight Town."

At that Saix had the decency to look embarrassed.

"I thin-I was worried that-sigh…You're not going to kill your self are you?"

The golden-eyed man felt his face twist into something akin to pain.

In the 24 years that the Saix had been alive he could think of no stranger situation then the one he was in now. In the 24 years that Saix had been alive he hadn't met someone who had the gall to call him out on his depression. In the 24 years that Saix had been alive, being passed from psychiatrist to psychiatrist like a child's play thing, he has never felt as if anyone has cared about him until now. A complete stranger going out of their way to make sure some guy somewhere doesn't kill himself? Things like that don't happen. Not to Saix. Chocking down emotions he thought he would never feel again, he spat out his response.

"That's none of your business."

Xemnas swallowed loudly. He felt stupid; the golden-eyed man was right, it wasn't his business. He had no place in this mans life. He knew nothing about him other then the fact he was prone to out breaks of psychotic rage. He should just go home; go home and forget this ever happened. Xemnas sighed; he felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment. Maybe this was a mistake. He reached into his back pocket for an old receipt and scribbled his cell phone number on it. He slid the paper across the table toward Saix.

"Maybe it's not my business. I'm sorry for intruding. That's my number. Just…call if you need anything at all. I'm a doctor." With that Xemnas collected himself and walked out.

He bumbled down the street in search of a subway station. All that for nothing. He broke his routine to become a nosy moron. Then again when was the last time he broke away from his routine at all? The thought troubled the doctor. He had been doing the same thing, every day for how many years now? Not breaking his mundane actions once to even think about what he was really doing. Since when was Xemnas a sheep? The doctor shivered. Sheep don't live lives. They do as they are told and not one thing more. Maybe it was a good thing he did something so horribly reckless. For once Xemnas didn't feel comfortable, and even thought it was a terrible feeling it made him acutely aware of his humanity. He felt vulnerable, human, and _alive_. It was a shame things didn't work out with Saix. The man might have continued to make his life a little less mundane. Feeling a little less of an idiot the sunset eyed man continued down the street. He was so lost in thought he almost didn't feel his phone vibrate. He tugged the device from his jeans and flipped it open.

"I'm off right now Aerith. I'm too far from the hospital to make it in a timely manner, call Luxord instead."

"This is Saix."

Xemnas felt his heart stop. Color rushed to his cheeks and his feet were quite suddenly stuck to the pavement.

"Is there anything you need?"

"No. I…I am not accustom to strangers caring about my well-being. I have…lived in Midgar a number of years. You know how the city is like."

"Yes. I lived there quite a while myself."

"I wanted to apologize for my behavior. These past years…have been hard on me. Would you like me to drive you to a train station?"

"That would be wonderful. I'm on the corner of Northern and 75th ave."

"I'll be there soon."

Xemnas smiled. Perhaps-just perhaps- running after a suicidal stranger wasn't such a bad idea after all.

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